How to read Math Poetry
An underscore _ represents a beat.
A slash / represents a half-beat.
Numbers are to be read naturally (9 = “nine,” 63 = “sixty-three” etc.)
They were eating through my pantry; I can’t be blamed
Additionally, it’s not a crime; I cannot be arraigned.
But mice are so pestersome
All will agree
In the battle for food
It’s considered unrude
To set up a snare
To dare any critter
Who fritters away
His God-given hours
In the vain pursuit
Of stealing food or flowers.
GET A JOB I told him, but he wouldn’t listen
Instead he came creeping into my kitchen
And found the trap before I could stop him
To parlay in peace
Before mouse or meece
Got into trouble
For doubly wicked
Crimes of self-preservation directly in opposition to the general rules of society.
When I found he was dead, I wept for a second.
I always thought I was more cold-hearted,
When I’d set up the trap, when across the kitchen the mouse darted
I had no idea
That the feelings insideWould be sympathetic
To vermin dead or alive
I picked up the limp creature
And begging “I’m sorry,”
I attached my lips to the mouses’
And breathed a breath so small
And pumped the heart so softly
The mouse came awake with a start
Across the floor he darted
And just before zipping
Under the wall
In a burrow he’d burrowed
(I’d noticed last fall)
He turned around
And that rat
Called me a name
I vowed never to help anyone again.
I bets she hearts apples t2ooo!!!!
Mealy or not,
Apples are best
When picked right off the top
—Of the tree
—With you & Me
—Standing under the tree.
What is worse, can I ask,
What is worse, could you say,
Than finding a worm
In your apple someday?
I’ll tell you what,
And if I can explain…
Finding a quarter in your apple is pain!
(And I don’t mean a quarter
Of a worm, rather than a half,
I mean like the money…)
You’ll end up with teeth like Howard Taft!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Trying to keep up,
Hope the end of work is soon up,
So to what I’m up
I’ll say, “Dunno – I’m downside up!”
So while I’m down
in the salt mines – way down,
I’ll try not to let you down
And soon get a letter down –
So be on my side
While my BP’s on the down side
I’ll soon be on the winning side
If you’ll STAY on my side
I will be back
Even if it hurts my back
To sit at my desk chair (that has no back)
Writing and waiting for you to answer back.
I’m ready to move forwards
While searching for words
So I cheated on those four words,
I’m done – live with it!
P.S. Sorry I’m late,
I’m ALIVE, but late,
Oh forget it. . . Bye!
THIS JUST IN— EIB has been experimentally changed to accommodate lighthearted banter in bad poetry. Hope you enjoy.
I’ve got more to say, indeed, lots more!
(The estimate’s rough, but I’d say enough. . .)
So quit your sorry gad complaining,
And your habit of my poems disdaining.
But since you’ve asked, and ’cause I’m nice,
You will not have to ask me twice.
I’ll do just as you have requested,
But know this: I cannot be bested!
If I may, I must make
The other day, I had said
That eating pumpkinnes was
The bees’ knees.
And that is buzzed.
But I was wrong, and in fact,
Pumpkinne eating ain’t all dat.
Pumpkinne eating is for the birds,
Pumpkinne eating is absurd.
It must be stopped.
Cuz eating pumpkinnes
Is not anyone’s cup of tea.
I was wrong.