Math Poetry

How to read Math Poetry

An underscore _ represents a beat.
A slash / represents a half-beat.

Numbers are to be read naturally (9 = “nine,” 63 = “sixty-three” etc.)

7_8_4_2

11_14_6/3/8

16_95_2/30/1/4

8/6/1/2/3/2/9_

77_3/11_81_4/4

1/1/1/1/1/1/1_

I GAVE A MOUSE CPR (Shame On Me For Trying)

They were eating through my pantry; I can’t be blamed
Additionally, it’s not a crime; I cannot be arraigned.

But mice are so pestersome
All will agree
In the battle for food
It’s considered unrude
To set up a snare
To dare any critter
Who fritters away
His God-given hours
In the vain pursuit
Of stealing food or flowers.

GET A JOB I told him, but he wouldn’t listen
Instead he came creeping into my kitchen
And found the trap before I could stop him
To parlay in peace
Before mouse or meece
Got into trouble
For doubly wicked
Crimes of self-preservation directly in opposition to the general rules of society.

When I found he was dead, I wept for a second.
I always thought I was more cold-hearted,
When I’d set up the trap, when across the kitchen the mouse darted
I had no idea
That the feelings insideWould be sympathetic
To vermin dead or alive

I picked up the limp creature
And begging “I’m sorry,”
I attached my lips to the mouses’
And breathed a breath so small
And pumped the heart so softly

The mouse came awake with a start
Across the floor he darted
And just before zipping
Under the wall
In a burrow he’d burrowed
(I’d noticed last fall)

He turned around
And that rat
Called me a name
So profane
I vowed never to help anyone again.

I <3 Apples

I bets she hearts apples t2ooo!!!!

Crunchy yummy

Mealy or not,

Apples are best

When picked right off the top

—Of the tree

—With you & Me

—Standing under the tree.

What is worse, can I ask,

What is worse, could you say,

Than finding a worm

In your apple someday?

I’ll tell you what,

And if I can explain…

Finding a quarter in your apple is pain!

(And I don’t mean a quarter

Of a worm, rather than a half,

I mean like the money…)

You’ll end up with teeth like Howard Taft!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol

rofl

Trying to keep up Hope the end of…

Trying to keep up,
Hope the end of work is soon up,
So to what I’m up
I’ll say, “Dunno – I’m downside up!”

So while I’m down
in the salt mines – way down,
I’ll try not to let you down
And soon get a letter down –

So be on my side
While my BP’s on the down side
I’ll soon be on the winning side
If you’ll STAY on my side

I will be back
Even if it hurts my back
To sit at my desk chair (that has no back)
Writing and waiting for you to answer back.

I’m ready to move forwards
While searching for words
So I cheated on those four words,
I’m done – live with it!

😀

P.S. Sorry I’m late,
I’m ALIVE, but late,
Oh forget it. . . Bye!

In addition, furthermore. . .

I’ve got more to say, indeed, lots more!
(The estimate’s rough, but I’d say enough. . .)
So quit your sorry gad complaining,

And your habit of my poems disdaining.

But since you’ve asked, and ’cause I’m nice,

You will not have to ask me twice.

I’ll do just as you have requested,

But know this:  I cannot be bested!

¿¥Ɠ╬♠♥♣░▓♦☼♪╚╟╫▲╒♯Ᵽ►◙ⱴⱷꜛꜜ
☺ ☺☻☺☺
¿¥Ɠ╬♠♥♣░▓♦☼♪╚╟╫▲╒♯Ᵽ►◙ⱴⱷꜛꜜ

A CLARIFICATION

If I may, I must make

A retraction.

The other day, I had said

That eating pumpkinnes was

The bees’ knees.

And that is buzzed.

But I was wrong, and in fact,

Pumpkinne eating ain’t all dat.

Pumpkinne eating is for the birds,

Pumpkinne eating is absurd.

It must be stopped.

Immediately.

Cuz eating pumpkinnes

Is not anyone’s cup of tea.

(You see?

I was wrong.

#yourreallyshouldnttryitsomeday)

A voice from t’other side

“JP!” called she,

I heard her plainly,

Calling, weeping, sighing vainly,

“Please don’t lead your friends astray

Warn them, warn them every day!

Stay away from pumpkinne eating

Or soon their hearts will stop a-beating!

Just ’cause you have an immunity

Doesn’t mean with importunity

You can lure all those who don’t!

Even if you think they won’t

Try it,

Or buy it.

And just for fun

You’ll have gone and killed everyone.

For shame!”

She gave no name.

I EAT PUMPKINNE NOW

DISCLAIMER: Do not eat a pumpkin in the manner described in this disturbing poem unless directed to by doctor. In fact, don’t eat a pumpkin whole at all. Stick to seeds & pie. They’re prob’ yummier and prob’ not as poison.

I eat a yummy pumpkin

My teeth sink in

To

The juicy yummy orange shell

Thats tasting like a rind-of-snail

And crunchy

Like an ant.

The juices they run down my chin,

And spill on my shirt

Like a cotton gin

Which is to say

I’d eat a pumpkin any day!

Hooray!

Ura!

Huzzah! Huzzah!

Eating pumpkins is lotsa fun and #youshouldtryitsomeday

130

Oh dear. . .

A new poem is needed here
The site is getting austere
And devoid of newness
Causing blueness
In me.
Who will rhyme first
Or offer blank verse
And challenge some reader
To read this junk?
Some punk?
Not me, not I
Not this’un here
I’m so distressed
I’ve shed a tear
which rhymes with near
and not with wear
I don’t care-or is that cear?
Oh dear!
give me a pear.
I’m hungry now.
Take a bow
That rhymes with how
And not with low
Which is how I feel
Cause no one is writing bad verse.
Is there anything worse?